“Homoromantic” by John Reed

I am homo-romantic (like towards men and chicks who are like men) and I am hetero-sexual (like towards physically female people). These are two separate things, so my orientation is “homoromantic heterosexual”.

First, how I know I am homo-romantic:

  1. I love men.
  2. When I am drunk I kind of want to make out with pretty boys, but nothing about male people can give me an erection. Like the attraction is more towards the person or their face/eyes, not towards their body. Also, alcohol kind of makes my “up top” attraction stronger and my “down bottom” attraction weaker, if that makes any sense. Straight male sexuality is mostly “down bottom” where as straight female sexuality is mostly “up top”. This sort of explains what I mean by that: https://youtu.be/Ip7kP_dd6LU?t=423 .
  3. I have really long platonic relationships with guys. Like one pretty male friend I said “I love you” to on multiple occasions, went on sort of friend date walks on the beach with, and even asked once if we could make out (just out of curiosity). Like I used to have sort of friend relationships with guys.
  4. I generally have no interest in kissing girls, and I don’t think a thought about making out with a girl has ever crossed my mind in my entire life, but one time a femme looking lesbian grabbed me by the neck and made out with me and it felt hot. To be honest, I kind of wished that straight girls did that instead of asking me shit like “Would you teach me how to make out?” Uhh… I don’t even know what to say to that, so I think the best response to that is no response. And yes, “Would you teach me how to make out?” is an actual sentence that an actual female person once directed at me.
  5. I only date tomboys. It just doesn’t work with really effeminate women. It either feels like there are two women in the relationship or their incessant high pitched talking makes my dick smaller. I’m sexually attracted to female people, but I don’t like girls the way some guys like girls. Like when a teenager says “I like girls” or “I like guys”, they don’t mean what I mean when I say that I am heterosexual.

Second, how I know I am heterosexual:

  1. I want to fuck chicks, for Christ’s sake.
  2. I am un-attracted to women as people, though, so it generally doesn’t work out in real life. In real life it generally turns into a sort of friendship. I experience face-to-face un-attraction with women, and the attraction that I do feel is more physical and it is mostly butt oriented.
  3. I only get that hot “electric” feeling that turns me on from touching female people, not from touching male people.
  4. Gay porn is gross – 100% of my porn has female people who are getting fucked in it.
  5. In college I tried experimenting with a guy and it didn’t work. The male gaze is an instant boner killer.

The person who I was dating before she got involved in this government conspiracy thing is kind of a hybrid. Like she has big, round, sparkly female eyes (especially when she is looking away or when you see her eyes from the side), and she is female bodied, and she has this smell that kind of makes me want to have sex with her, but she is like a dude. Like she writes three word texts and talks like a dude (sort of the opposite of how I talk) and in the past she sang male country vocals in the shower (while I tend to sing more like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oXw_gBlcNsM&t=348s ).

There’s like a gender balance. Also, like I mentioned before, she sort of disappeared during this crazy “government conspiracy” in which the FBI and Secret Service was involved. See:

p.s. I kind of wanted her back, but like these conspiracy people keep messing with me and she joined in. Also, she sort of intercepted me and left me her jacket. I don’t know what is going on.

p.p.s. For some reason I really love effeminate girly shit, like this: https://youtu.be/TlyrweRsILk . Why I am like this, I do not know, but unlike say Pete Buttigieg, I am not sexually attracted towards guys. To be honest, the only thing about Pete that even gives me that impression is his big round sparkly eyes. This might just be a coincidence, but I noticed these sort of eyes in masculine gay men. You can’t actually tell anything about whether a guy is sexually attracted towards males (like Pete is) or towards females (like I am) by the way they talk or by whether the way they dress is more masculine or more feminine.

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